One day, those zits will make you smile.

Jar of milk with a straw in it, held by lady whose image is blurred image. Age slower with low-fat cow milk.
Jar of milk with a straw in it, held by lady whose image is blurred image. Age slower with low-fat cow milk.
Photo by Amanda Vick on Unsplash

If you want to age slower, you can. Although we all age differently, much of how fast you age is up to you. As hard as it is to believe, aging is not only about your genes.

Do you know people who are near your age, but look a lot younger than you do? I’m sure you know many of them who look much older too. I know 40ish-year-old men who look and move like a worn-out Bernie Sanders. I also know active and healthy people in their 80’s who look 20 years (or more) younger than their chronological ages.


Only you can determine if the shoe fits.

Beautiful Black lady portrait, tomato red hair. Large loose braid from back of head to front, thin braid near ear from front to back. Look your best.
Beautiful Black lady portrait, tomato red hair. Large loose braid from back of head to front, thin braid near ear from front to back. Look your best.
Photo by Tammie Allen on Unsplash

Some people still believe beauty is an asset only for the young. Ha! They may as well give it up. The day is over for that attitude. Eyes have opened to see beauty in all shapes, sizes, colors, and, yes, at every age.

However, it remains popular for young people to dictate what mature adults should wear to look their best.

I heard a 20-something-year-old male “influencer” say women over 40 should never wear red lipstick. He said he finds it unflattering. Do you care what strangers think about your lipstick?

I don’t think blue lipstick flatters anyone at any…


According to science, racism can do more than you think it can.

Legs and arms of a person in the set position on a running track. He’s ready to run fast, but not age too fast.
Legs and arms of a person in the set position on a running track. He’s ready to run fast, but not age too fast.
Running fast looks like lots of fun. But aging too fast is no fun at all. (Photo by Braden Collum on Unsplash)

You can speed up your aging process without realizing it.

Many people take the “It is what it is” approach to aging. It’s a personal choice. But there are better ones if you don’t want to age too fast.

You have some control over how you age. After all, genes aren’t the whole story. Your lifestyle plays an important role too. According to science, obesity and lack of exercise can fuel rapid aging. That might not surprise you. But other less obvious factors can also chip in.

Several years ago, I went shopping with a friend. (I’ll call her Alex)…


They drastically improved the quality of my life when I finally embraced them.

Lightbulb turned on and floating from two hands into the sky. Love and Relationship Life-Lessons make you feel like that.
Lightbulb turned on and floating from two hands into the sky. Love and Relationship Life-Lessons make you feel like that.
Photo by Júnior Ferreira on Unsplash

Do you sometimes wish you knew then what you know now? It’s rewarding if you implement those aha, lightbulb moments. I’m guilty of gathering information and doing nothing with it. Had I embraced some of my epiphanies earlier in life, it wouldn’t have taken so long for me to discover love, happiness, and thriving relationships.

Valuable life lessons to grab along the road to happiness and stronger relationships

1. Opening your heart and risking love is worth risking rejection.

After all, getting rejected moves wrong people out of the way. The sooner you do that, the better. It makes room for one who’s right for you.

2. For what you desire to come to you, it must first come from you.

If you want love and respect, make loving and respecting others dominant in your heart. …


How to make your articles more engaging and lock readers in from beginning to end.

Rack of 5 big, veggie pizza slices that will grab eaters’ and menu readers’ attention.
Rack of 5 big, veggie pizza slices that will grab eaters’ and menu readers’ attention.
Photo by sheri silver on Unsplash

Writers want to grab readers’ attention. They also want to maintain what they work so hard to gain. While headlines, opening sentences, and images get your articles noticed, the content is where you engage your readers.

Keeping them interested is a lot like relationships. You must continuously provide something the other person desires.

Your readers want more from you.

You engage readers longer when you feed them what they’re hungry for, not what you want them to eat.

Have you ever had an out-of-body experience or wished you could have one? While on a dinner date, I thought the guy was about to tell me how…


Older men who date younger women might help us all live longer, according to science.

A cluster of pink cupcakes, swirled frosting, a Happy Birthday flag in each, with sprinkles to celebrate increasing your longevity
A cluster of pink cupcakes, swirled frosting, a Happy Birthday flag in each, with sprinkles to celebrate increasing your longevity
Adding years to your life is about more than diet and exercise. (Photo by Robert Anderson on Unsplash)

Your partner may contribute to increasing your longevity more than blood relatives do.

In some ways, you don’t have to do anything to add years to your life. Can you imagine in your wildest dream or scariest nightmare how older men having relationships with young women benefit you? Scientists have theories about it.

If someone wanted to know the best way to estimate life expectancy, what would you say? “Genes”? That’s how most people would answer. After all, we learned it in school. Recent data analyses of hundreds of millions of people create a wrinkle in that teaching, though. …


It’s easy to understand why some articles perform so much better than others.

Lady in jeans and orange top leaning over table to see what could be Medium stats screen that says “Moving Forward”.
Lady in jeans and orange top leaning over table to see what could be Medium stats screen that says “Moving Forward”.
Photo by Mikael Blomkvist from Pexels

After watching Sinem Gunel interview Coach Tony Stubblebine and following their suggestions, my stats shot out of the crowded Medium writers’ basement. The next story I wrote earned more money than any story I’ve written here thus far.

Was it a fluke? I sure hope not. The interview revealed oversights common to writers. It also gave me a new and motivating perspective about Medium.

Coach Tony is the founder of the popular Medium publications: Better Humans, Better Marketing, and Better Programming. He helps writers level up. He worked with Ev and Jack when Twitter was launched. Ahem, that’s Ev Williams…


If you write for any of his publications or read any of the content, I’m sure you’re grateful for him too.

Beautiful assortment of colorful flowers, with a big red one front and center.
Beautiful assortment of colorful flowers, with a big red one front and center.
Give people flowers while they can enjoy them. Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

When I was a little girl, I learned, “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” Many people missed that lesson.

I know that Dr Mehmet Yildiz doesn’t need me to bat for him. He eloquently proved that with a recent grand slam when a “fascinated reader” put on her hitting gloves. I refuse to sit back quietly while someone tries to drag his name through the mud.

Although I don’t know Dr Mehmet Yildiz, I know enough about him to appreciate him.

I want to take a moment to say, “Thank you, Dr Mehmet Yildiz

Thank you for building people up and not tearing them down.

In today’s culture, that’s an exceptionally rare quality.

Thank you for your leadership.

You are a class…


Tips for writers who feel blue, don’t get the respect they expect, and have started to question their passion.

Upside-down photo of girl in red knit cap with “Respect.” sewn on the front. Eyes wide open, tattoo across wrist, her fingers in her mouth. She wears a red, black, white plaid shirt.
Upside-down photo of girl in red knit cap with “Respect.” sewn on the front. Eyes wide open, tattoo across wrist, her fingers in her mouth. She wears a red, black, white plaid shirt.
Photo by Eduardo Ordone from Pexels

Has writing lost some of it’s charm and appeal for you? Do you enjoy it less because you’re fed up with the rapid gut punches?

No doubt, you’ve written great articles. You gave the time and effort needed to polish them to perfection. You poured more heart and soul into your articles than Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, did when she belted out the urgent need for R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Also, you followed the online writing rules that everybody post about — attention-grabbing headline, irresistible hook, engaging content, end with a bang, yada, yada.

Then, with excitement and anticipation, you place…


Why you need the whole story before pitching a hissing fit.

Young serious-looking man with his left hand in his pants pocket; wearing a black suit, white shirt, black shirt. Image is on black background
Young serious-looking man with his left hand in his pants pocket; wearing a black suit, white shirt, black shirt. Image is on black background
Photo by sports brand on Unsplash

Can you imagine females having to lower their heads and curtsy to boys in their class? What about being told to obey the boys’ reasonable requests? That was only a portion of a chivalry assignment recently given to high school students in a Lubbock, Texas classroom.

I remember requests that boys made when I was in high school. But I can’t recall a reasonable request in the bunch.

According to a magazine article, the teacher wanted to demonstrate how medieval customs carry over into today’s society.

Females in the class were given 11 rules for the Chivalry Day assignment. Besides…

Tonya S. Ware

I choose to age slowly and enjoy the day. You too? Bachelor of Journalism. Healthy-living, personal growth, business, life lessons here. tonyasware@gmail.com

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