One day, those zits will make you smile.

Jar of milk with a straw in it, held by lady whose image is blurred image. Age slower with low-fat cow milk.
Jar of milk with a straw in it, held by lady whose image is blurred image. Age slower with low-fat cow milk.
Photo by Amanda Vick on Unsplash

If you want to age slower, you can. Although we all age differently, much of how fast you age is up to you. As hard as it is to believe, aging is not only about your genes.

Do you know people who are near your age, but look a lot younger than you do? I’m sure you know many of them who look much older too. I know 40ish-year-old men who look and move like a worn-out Bernie Sanders. I also know active and healthy people in their 80’s who look 20 years (or more) younger than their chronological ages.


Older men who date younger women might help us all live longer, according to science.

A cluster of pink cupcakes, swirled frosting, a Happy Birthday flag in each, with sprinkles to celebrate increasing your longevity
A cluster of pink cupcakes, swirled frosting, a Happy Birthday flag in each, with sprinkles to celebrate increasing your longevity
Adding years to your life is about more than diet and exercise. (Photo by Robert Anderson on Unsplash)

Your partner may contribute to increasing your longevity more than blood relatives do.

In some ways, you don’t have to do anything to add years to your life. Can you imagine in your wildest dream or scariest nightmare how older men having relationships with young women benefit you? Scientists have theories about it.

If someone wanted to know the best way to estimate life expectancy, what would you say? “Genes”? That’s how most people would answer. After all, we learned it in school. Recent data analyses of hundreds of millions of people create a wrinkle in that teaching, though. …


It’s easy to understand why some articles perform so much better than others.

Lady in jeans and orange top leaning over table to see what could be Medium stats screen that says “Moving Forward”.
Lady in jeans and orange top leaning over table to see what could be Medium stats screen that says “Moving Forward”.
Photo by Mikael Blomkvist from Pexels

After watching Sinem Gunel interview Coach Tony Stubblebine and following their suggestions, my stats shot out of the crowded Medium writers’ basement. The next story I wrote earned more money than any story I’ve written here thus far.

Was it a fluke? I sure hope not. The interview revealed oversights common to writers. It also gave me a new and motivating perspective about Medium.

Coach Tony is the founder of the popular Medium publications: Better Humans, Better Marketing, and Better Programming. He helps writers level up. He worked with Ev and Jack when Twitter was launched. Ahem, that’s Ev Williams…


If you write for any of his publications or read any of the content, I’m sure you’re grateful for him too.

Beautiful assortment of colorful flowers, with a big red one front and center.
Beautiful assortment of colorful flowers, with a big red one front and center.
Give people flowers while they can enjoy them. Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

When I was a little girl, I learned, “If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.” Many people missed that lesson.

I know that Dr Mehmet Yildiz doesn’t need me to bat for him. He eloquently proved that with a recent grand slam when a “fascinated reader” put on her hitting gloves. I refuse to sit back quietly while someone tries to drag his name through the mud.

Although I don’t know Dr Mehmet Yildiz, I know enough about him to appreciate him.

I want to take a moment to say, “Thank you, Dr Mehmet Yildiz

Thank you for building people up and not tearing them down.

In today’s culture, that’s an exceptionally rare quality.

Thank you for your leadership.

You are a class…


Tips for writers who feel blue, don’t get the respect they expect, and have started to question their passion.

Upside-down photo of girl in red knit cap with “Respect.” sewn on the front. Eyes wide open, tattoo across wrist, her fingers in her mouth. She wears a red, black, white plaid shirt.
Upside-down photo of girl in red knit cap with “Respect.” sewn on the front. Eyes wide open, tattoo across wrist, her fingers in her mouth. She wears a red, black, white plaid shirt.
Photo by Eduardo Ordone from Pexels

Has writing lost some of it’s charm and appeal for you? Do you enjoy it less because you’re fed up with the rapid gut punches?

No doubt, you’ve written great articles. You gave the time and effort needed to polish them to perfection. You poured more heart and soul into your articles than Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, did when she belted out the urgent need for R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Also, you followed the online writing rules that everybody post about — attention-grabbing headline, irresistible hook, engaging content, end with a bang, yada, yada.

Then, with excitement and anticipation, you place…


Why you need the whole story before pitching a hissing fit.

Young serious-looking man with his left hand in his pants pocket; wearing a black suit, white shirt, black shirt. Image is on black background
Young serious-looking man with his left hand in his pants pocket; wearing a black suit, white shirt, black shirt. Image is on black background
Photo by sports brand on Unsplash

Can you imagine females having to lower their heads and curtsy to boys in their class? What about being told to obey the boys’ reasonable requests? That was only a portion of a chivalry assignment recently given to high school students in a Lubbock, Texas classroom.

I remember requests that boys made when I was in high school. But I can’t recall a reasonable request in the bunch.

According to a magazine article, the teacher wanted to demonstrate how medieval customs carry over into today’s society.

Females in the class were given 11 rules for the Chivalry Day assignment. Besides…


Steps I took to finally recover from a night of horror.

Ew. A muted orange light makes the shadow of an adult forearm and hand visible. The fingers are spread apart, seemingly reaching for a child’s hand.
Ew. A muted orange light makes the shadow of an adult forearm and hand visible. The fingers are spread apart, seemingly reaching for a child’s hand.
Photo by sankavi on Unsplash

Trauma is a wicked rascal. No matter what causes it or how much you want to forget about a traumatic experience, releasing the anxiety takes work.

Of course, some ordeals are a whole lot worse than others. But even the minor ones can leave you feeling anxious, as if something comes over you and takes control. A traumatic experience can make you feel like a victim and that you won’t get over it until… well, never. That’s how it was for me, anyway.

My suffering lasted longer than I like to admit. And the longer it lasted, the stronger it…


The ideas come to you for a unique purpose

A cliff with a waterfalls (flowing like creative ideas) and a rainbow over it.
A cliff with a waterfalls (flowing like creative ideas) and a rainbow over it.
Photo by Dylan Gialanella on Unsplash

What are you doing with the creative ideas that constantly stir inside you? Is it hard to find time to think about them, let alone do them?

“Graveyards are one of the richest places on Earth.” I heard those words from Dr. Myles Munroe years ago. I still think about them whenever I have a new business idea or look at the incomplete work on my hard drive.

Dr. Munroe was an author, speaker, and leadership consultant. He said some of the best books are in graveyards. But they are books that were never written. …


The situation can turn real ugly real fast if you say the wrong thing.

Beautiful, elegant, mature woman with long flowing white hair, wearing black rim glasses and a white coat, she looks upward
Beautiful, elegant, mature woman with long flowing white hair, wearing black rim glasses and a white coat, she looks upward
Beauty comes in all colors, shapes, sizes, and AGES · Image courtesy of pexels.com

When women put forth the effort to look their best, it ought to be a crime if nobody notices. But complimenting a beautiful mature woman the wrong way can quickly turn into a serious offense.

If out-of-the-blue you tell her she’s beautiful, she probably won’t like it. She might think you’re shallow or that you’re poking fun at her — even if she spent three hours at the beauty salon.

It takes finesse and know-how to give welcomed compliments. Without them, your praise could backfire and you find yourself wondering, “What just happened?”

Let me let you in on a…


Why didn’t anyone tell me On Writing: A Memoir Of The Craft is so entertaining?

Lady covering her face with an open book walks by a brick wall. She probably reading Stephen King’s, On Writing
Lady covering her face with an open book walks by a brick wall. She probably reading Stephen King’s, On Writing
Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash

Nothing I’d heard about Stephen King made me want to read his books. Based on what people said about him, I concluded King is a certifiable nut case who writes well enough to capitalize on fear.

However, so many writers refer to his book, On Writing: A Memoir Of The Craft, that I placed it on the backburner about 14 years ago. I planned to force myself to read it one of these days. Since 2020 was the year of weird, I decided it was fitting to get the Stephen King book off my to-read list.

That was one of…

Tonya S. Ware

Freelance writer. Bachelor of Journalism. Encouragement, life-lessons, personal growth stories, and articles on writing found here. tonyasware@gmail.com

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